In late 1987 I attended a presentation on mediation in which it was described as “helping others to resolve their issue” (as opposed to the traditional litigation model). I knew in that moment I had found my calling. Shortly after, I attended Conres 101 at what was then the Jericho location of the J. I. This placed me in the second wave of graduates and although we didn’t have cohorts per se, the program was small enough that by its end, students had bonded and gotten to know faculty well. Some random memories included moving the class one summer day from the stuffy classroom to beneath a magnificent nearby oak tree.
Some of the trainers and coaches who influenced me were Michael Fogel, Karen Haddigan and then coaches Jill Schroeder and Mike Reynolds (among others). Michael would appear on day one of a training resplendent in sports coat and tie. By day two he’d lose the tie and by day 5 he’d have his sleeves rolled up. Stacey Holloway and Mario Govorchin were also very supportive as I transitioned from bureaucrat to conflict resolution professional. All the while I was diligently practicing my communication skills, especially open-ended questions. As a “recovering lawyer” this was a challenge but gradually became natural.
By the time I graduated I not only had my certificate, but a community of like-minded and very interesting and eclectic people. From a student’s perspective, the courses were well structured and effective, though given the newness of the program I wonder if the metaphor of a duck might have been apt – calm on the surface but feet paddling frantically underwater. It was an exciting time.
The training and support I received allowed me to transition from student to practitioner, part of which was coaching. I particularly enjoyed road trips on which I got to know my colleagues on a personal level. Flying into Fort St. John in the winter was definitely a bonding experience. Another travel memory was getting seasick on the ferry ride to Lasqueti Island, only to be welcomed by a multitude of “earth mothers” who nursed me back to health. The annual retreats and other professional development workshops were also highlights – especially when staying overnight on Bown Island or up the Fraser Valley.
Because of my varied background as both a bureaucrat and a small business owner (my mother said it was because I couldn’t hold a job), I was able to effectively customize trainings for the J.I. with such diverse groups as bylaw officers, bankers and forestry workers. I knew a training was hitting the mark when a student would look at a scenario and comment “were you in our staff meeting last week?” As a trainer I remember the immense satisfaction and joy that came when a group came together and created learning magic.
Finally, as an author, the seed from which “The Joy of Conflict Resolution” grew was planted by Ken Cloke as a brief aside in a professional development workshop when he quickly sketched the “drama triangle of conflict”. In the spirit of collaboration the final chapter (“Tips for the Traveller”) was comprised of dozens for experiences and suggestions tips from my colleagues at the J.I. Overall, I was fortunate to be in the right place at the right time to discover and pursue a career that was “right livelihood”. Having been retired for ten years I look back on my 25 years with the program and feel proud to have played a part in the evolution of the Centre for Conflict Resolution.
- Gary Harper
